Here I am...'home' from Swaziland...yet, it really doesn't feel like home.

I have begun to adventure out to see the familiar people and places I haven't seen in eight months. I talk to the people who knew me eight months ago, but have yet to know me now. I walk past building after building paved with people that walk by with nothing more than a glance...not comparable to the "hello"'s, "be my friend"'s, and "marry me"'s I have grown accustomed to. I come home every day to a house with infinite water, heat/air, and food. I have the ability to walk into my bedroom, shut the door, and be alone for however long I want...contradicting my former room constantly full of fifteen people where the word 'silence' does not exist. All of this familiarity actually feels quite foreign. I can no longer pick up random kids walking down the sidewalk and bring them home with me, there will no longer be several marriage proposals per day from men I have never seen, and I no longer have to be in groups of three to walk outside my yard.

However, with all of these things that seem different, and all these feelings I have telling me that everything has changed, I have a God that tells me he has not, and never will, change. The God that is in Africa, the God that blew my mind away, is the same God in the United States. The God that I saw heal, heard speak, and watched change lives...including mine..., is the exact same God here.

As I head on this new adventure, I am asked to trust. I am asked to trust my God is here. I am asked to trust what I knew my callings were in Africa are still the same callings I have even though I'm here. I am asked to know, that I am not familiar to those around me, and continue to have my mind blown away by an awesome unchanging God.

Goodbye for now Swaziland.

Hello America.

Rosa- a five-year-old girl from Mozambique in the squatter camp who is abused, abandoned, and now forced to sleep outside in one of the most dangerous parts of the country.

Nshloso- a six-year-old boy in RFM hospital that fell on a fire and was abandoned at the hospital in September.

Calile- Nshloso's ten-year-old sister who was abandoned with Nshloso and is his only caretaker. She sleeps under his crib every night, wakes up in the morning, walks to school, walks back to the hospital, takes care of anything Nshloso needs, then does everything all over again.

Zama- a five-year-old boy with TB in RFM who does not know where he lives or who his parents are.

Tophsihle- a five-year-old girl in the squatter camp that prostitutes herself so her family will have bread.

Prisca- a lady in the market that has taken eight orphans into her home (due to her friends dying of illnesses) in addition to the three of her own and her husband. She only makes enough money to feed some of them everyday.

There are desperate situations every day. Many times, it feels as though these situations are so overwhelming there is no way out. It is so hard for me not to lose hope as I talk to each of these people every day. My common thoughts say "This is too much, these problems are too big, and they're not going to survive." However, that is not what God says.

In I Samuel 14, Jonathan and his armor-bearer seek out the Philistine army that greatly outnumbers him in strength and size. Yet, Jonathan's response is not fear or hopelessness. He says, "The Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few." Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving. It does not matter the size or number of problems we face, because it is the Lord that does the saving.

As I walk through the streets of Manzini everyday, I am called to remember that I am not the one who will save Swaziland. The Lord, whom nothing can hinder, will fight for the hurting children, the desperate mothers, and me.

My heart continues to break as I witness each of these situations everyday. I cry out and pray as I don't understand and many times I am angry about the situations around me. Nevertheless, in the end I know, my God saves.

The past few weeks we have had the World Race team staying at our house as they prepare for their next adventures. This team is a group that travels around the world for a year, ministering for weeks in all different countries. They arrived in Swaziland just a few weeks ago, and stayed in Nsoko for 3 weeks. During the team's stay in Nsoko, they met a mother who is severley sick with AIDS and tuberculosis that had a little baby boy (who they named Moses), that weighed only four pounds at six weeks old. 'The Racers' brought Moses back to our house upon their return from Nsoko so they would nurse him back to health. Come Monday morning, they decided to admit Moses into RFM hospital (my ministry site) so he could get better care and the medication he needed.

After my day off on Monday, I decided I still wanted to go to the hospital for ministry and was surprised when I saw Moses there. I was told how he was admitted and the details of his stay were still yet to be determined. After my ministry, I went back home and the moment I walked in the door, I was asked if I would mind staying at the hospital over night with Moses. I said I would not mind, grabbed my stuff, and was on my way to the hospital within the hour with one other teammate.

As I walked into RFM, I was greeted with all kinds of bizarre looks, as the women and children I normally do my ministry to, watched me come in to stay for the night. Starting at eight o'clock that night, I began feeding and holding baby Moses. All the moms in the hospital came around me, teaching me the best ways to hold him as he sleeps and eats, grabbing the nurse for whatever was needed, and doing whatever they could to help me. By midnight, I was just sitting on the hard bench next to Moses, exhausted, and realizing what these mothers do every night for their children in the hospital. I continued feeding and holding Moses as he slept through most the night. At about 4:55 am, it was noticed that Moses' breathing had lost a pattern and I was confused by what was happening. The moms that were next to me had me go get the nurse and, upon my return, I watched Moses take his last breath. 

After Moses passed away, I was left stunned as the nurse kept asking me legistical questions I didn't know the response to. This was the first time I cared for a baby and learned to love it, and then watched it pass away in front of me. This experience has made the experience the mothers in the hospital go through every day, so much more real to me. As I sat there all night with Moses, never sleeping but feeling like I was going to fall over at the same time, I could not figure out how these mothers do it every single day for months at a time.

I am still processing and grieving all that has happened, but giving praise to the Lord in everything that has happened. I am so grateful that my ministry with these women and children involves such a deeper relationship now, and thankful that I was blessed to spend those last hours with little baby Moses.

After a weird night of roommates yelling in SiSwati in their sleep, I woke up at six o'clock Friday morning, rolled out of bed (a sleeping bag on the floor), and prepared for the day that lay ahead. Three other girls joined me for ministry as we headed out for our mile and a half walk into town. After multiple marriage proposals from men and buying fruit from the "fruit ladies" on the street, we headed to the Hope House. At the Hope House I sit with gogo Sipiwe for a couple hours as we talk, crochet (or at least I try), and we spend time ministering to each other. She always points out her favorite Bible verse that day and has me read it in English, and we spend a lot of time in prayer.

After the Hope House I am escorted by two Nigerian teenage boys to the hospital, that continuously propose to me as they tell me Ashanti and DMX are their cousins. Once I reach the hospital (another mile and a half from the Hope House), I kindly reject these two boys, and continue into the children's ward. The next two hours were spent with a six year-old boy, Nhoshlosho, who was dropped off and abandoned there in September. Nhoshlosho does not speak any English, so I spend my time coloring with him and singing. I really cannot get enough of this boy.

After the hospital, I walked to the cultural market, where I sit with a lot of women at their tables as they make their living selling jewellery, baskets, etc. We spend our time deepening our friendships and sharing with each other. These ladies also come over regularly on Sunday afternoons and I lead Bible study with them. They are absolutely hysterical and can be so encouraging to me.

Once I left the cultural market, it was about five o'clock and time for me to get back home. I proceeded to walk to the bus rink (just imagine thousands of minivans from the ‘80s running into each other, and thousands of men running around yelling like auctioneers…it's really interesting) and get on the Madonsa kombi (the van that takes me home) and sit for a half hour in dead heat. After I am told that I am fat multiple times (apparently that's a compliment here, but I haven't exactly learned how to accept it yet), a fairly large lady (imagine Big Momma's House) comes and squishes next to me, wraps her sweaty arm around my neck and hugs me all the way home while she constantly talks in SiSwati to me.

At six o'clock I finally arrived home. Exhausted from walking everywhere, and the heat being so intense, I lied on the tile floor in my bedroom and went to sleep.

This is a day in the life of being an American missionary in Swaziland. I cannot say it is a typical day as I don't believe really any of our days are "typical". We never really know what to expect as we approach each day.  However, I hope this enlightens you to what some of my ministry (and trips to and from ministry) look like. J  

Have you ever been awoken at 6:45 in the morning to the singing of "You are my sunshine" and breakfast in bed? Well, that's how my Valentines Day began. :)

Thursday morning, the guys on our team came serving a self-made breakfast and singing to us, while promising to serve us all day. We exited our bedrooms and the entire house was decorated with pink and purple hearts dangling everywhere, and multiple valentine cards (and chocolate) for all of us on the table. It was a lovely way to wake up, though rather early :), and then we headed off to our ministries. As it was Valentines Day, Brianna and I decided it would be nice to bring little gifts to our friends that we minister. So, we went to the shop and bought candy bars and chocolate to give out. Note: if you ever want to make a Swazi's day, give them chocolate, I have NEVER seen people be more excited in my entire life. We began at the Hope House giving my friend, Gogo (grandma), a kitkat bar. She then proceeded to say a huge thank you prayer in Siswati. After leaving, we thought it would be nice to give some chocolate to the lady selling fruit on the street. This lady is there every single day selling fruit, but she speaks no English so our conversations with her are limited. We figured that we could at least show her some love by giving her a candy bar...oh did she ever feel loved. This lady leaped off the sidewalk and threw herself at us as she began screaming and jumping up and down out of joy.

Our day continued in this manner, as we did our ministry and gave out chocolate. When we got home, we found the guys were also cooking an exquisite meal (done by themselves), and were serving us by candle light dinner. Oh...and this meal included chocolate cake by the way. :) All the girls were waited on like we were royalty, and I must say, I wouldn't mind being treated that way every day....

Right now, we are in South Africa for the day as we are getting our visas renewed for Swaziland, and will be heading back in about 2 hours. Tomorrow I will return back to the Hope House, Market, and the Hospital to continue my ministry.

Things to pray for:

- All of the illnesses facing the team. So many people are sick with colds and parasite related illnesses.

- Protection of our hearts and emotions as the reality of this new world around us is continuously shocking. Pray that the emotions people feel will be used to more effectively share the gospel.

- Continue praying for the people of Swaziland. Pray they will see the need for Christ as they see their need for bread.

Thank you once again for all the support and prayers, it is so encouraging!

In Faith,

Elisa

These last few weeks, we have done our ministry in Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa. Our whole Africa team drove 14 hours down to J-Bay to a hostile called UCSA. We then had two speakers, Jim and Ben, fly in as we began a leadership and discipleship conference. For about four days, our team was split as half of us went to discipleship classes with Jim, and the other half to leadership classes with Ben. I was part of the discipleship track and I learned so much during this time. We learned what it is to be a good discipler, and how we can be one here in Africa and also when we go back to the States. We talked about the things inside of us that could be obstacles to us being good disciplers and then worked on having those things fixed in our lives. We practiced by discipling eachother and going out into J-Bay and ministering to the people there. After this conference we had four days of debrief in our Kenya and Swazi teams, and we debriefed the last 3 months of our trip. It was really good to finally be able to process and reflect on everything we have done and learned these last few months and share it with our teams. We also went over things that would happen once we all went home and how deal with certain struggles we may face, or questions we may be asked. It was really refreshing and exciting to go over. The car ride home from J-Bay did not go quite as smoothly as the ride there. In between two vehicle breakdowns, it took almost 24 hours and 15 packed in 9 person van to get home. We looked at it as a really good team-builder. :)

On the 14th, our team departed for Christmas break. There are many people staying in J-Bay, the states, and doing ministry in India. I am in Johannesburg, SA now where I will be spending my Christmas. I am still in the process of trying to raise support for this trip and I still have $1200 left to raise. Thank you for your faithfulness in prayer and the many ways you have blessed me on this trip. Have a wonderful Christmas!